As I walk into the coffee shop wearing my Southampton shirt I receive a familiar question: “What jersey is that supposed to be?”
I reply with a melancholy “Southampton, they are a soccer club in Europe”, knowing exactly what her reply was going to be.
“Oh okay, I don’t really like soccer but it’s a cool jersey.”
This is a regular encounter with individuals when learning that I have a passion for a soccer team. There are a whirlwind of emotions of mine with each of these encounters. The primary one being the blasphemy that people cannot have the same passion as myself for something that is so near and dear to my heart. Southampton is not just a soccer club. Southampton is the reason why I woke up at 5AM on a Saturday morning to watch our match against Sunderland.
Southampton is the reason why I was regularly staring at my phone at work during the transfer window to see if we were going to sign Gabbiadini. Southampton is the reason why I feel so isolated from the rest of the United States. This is hard to encompass as I navigate myself through life.
The love and admiration that one can possess towards a soccer team is unlike anything that can be personified comparatively to any phenomena, but can receive hardship when not shared with the people around you.
Imagine having something that you admire so much. You publicly want to show off these passions and admiration to the rest of the world. It is human nature to seek individuals that share a mutual connection. This can be shown by relationships in general. When you sign up for a dating website, for example, you are required to answer various questions and categories that you may be interested in (not that I have any experience with this).
The website or app will then match you with individuals who may share those same interests as yourself. The foundation of relationships truly are based upon these mutual interests. This is where things begin to get tricky in my personal state of mind – not many people share this interest with me regarding my love for Southampton, let alone soccer in general.
I love the United States. It has laid the foundation for me to be successful in every way, shape and form. We may be the current laughing stock of the world (for reasons I will not publicly discuss), but that has not changed my mindset on the love I have for this country. We are filled with passionate people full of love with many different things. Unfortunately, one of these things is not the thing so near and dear to my heart: soccer.
I am sure that people around the world make quite the scene about game-day for Southampton. I know here in the United States, game-days for American football and basketball games are comparatively to it being the last day here on earth. The parties are immaculate, the drinks are flowing, and the streets are quiet as people are either at the game, or in their houses watching. This is a very different experience than the one I have for every single Southampton game.
I wake up early, as most games are before 9AM for me, and get a cup of coffee. My wife usually will not wake up with me, as it is too early even for her to share one of my passions with me. I turn on my television and go to the stations that could potentially be showing the games, only to realise that no Southampton game will ever be shown on TV here. With a frustrating sigh, I once again open my laptop to find some streaming website that will probably break my computer at some point. It is a risk I am willing to take to watch them play.
Then, after finally finding a website that will show the game, I watch the game alone on my computer. I turn up the volume extremely loud so I can attempt to experience that atmosphere of what it is like to be at the game, that is, until my wife or neighbour tells me to turn the volume down.
Most fans have similar reactions as myself for a team that they have passion for. If the team wins, they are buzzing the rest of the day. On the other side though, if they lose, it could potentially ruin your day. If I go about distressed because of a bad loss, people won’t understand if I say “Southampton lost, I am in a bad mood”. That is not a good enough excuse for people here as if someone said “The Green Bay Packers lost so I am in a bad mood” in which they would be excused from any bad emotions they may present.
It is a perpetuating frustration to love something that no-one around you shares. When you have to enjoy the atmosphere of your own self solitude you cannot depend on the people around you sustain the passion. It has to be a feeling so deep inside you, that no matter how many games you continue to lose, no matter how many people tell you they hate soccer, and no matter how many times you feel as though you’re alone loving Southampton here, you will continue to persevere toward the path of fandom.
I dream of the day that I will be able to save up enough money to cross the pond and watch a game in the city that I blindly love. For many people, they call a game at St Mary’s a normal Saturday. For me, it is a bucket list item, a dream that I have had for the last ten years, and something that I work to try and move towards every single day.
Southampton is not just soccer team, they are a lifestyle for persistence and love. Soccer is not just a game, it is the opportunity for the people you love to get together and share a common interest. It is a talking point for many people where friendships and love blossom.
But here, in the United States, it is a solitary passion that requires every bit of internal persistence to continue to love the team that I do: Southampton FC.
